Welcome to the board shakyground.
You questions/doubts are quite normal. We have all been there. But these doubts mustn't paralize us into inaction.
what if it really is the truth? If its not what is? What if Armageddon comes and the last thought that goes through my head is damn....you blew it, you could've got to see dad again....
That reminds me of a song , "I dont believe in if anymore"
"Oh I don't believe in If anymore
If's an illusion
If's an illusion
No I don't believe in If anymore
If is for children
If is for children
Building daydreams"